Alex

alex picks up the candy bar as he waits in the checkout line at the local grocery store * he thinks to himself * i could put this in my pocket right now and walk out of the store * but what would happen * maybe i would get away with it * maybe i would get caught and have the cops called on me by the store owner * so what * what would that feel like * who would care * in his mind he remembers his two brothers that only have him to rely on and the responsibility he has to protect them and keep them together * he puts the candy bar down and walks out of the store *

alex is a good kid * at such a young age in his life he has experienced hardships that many kids his age have never had to endure * after his dad left when he was very young it was hard enough to manage * but when his mom later decided she would abandon the family and leave alex responsible for two younger sibilings the struggles really began *

alex watched daily kids playing outdoors * kids going places with their parents * he heard his friends talking about allowances * getting grounded * eating home cooked meals * going fishing and hunting with their dads * and he longed to just be a normal kid * but alex could not have those luxuries * instead he had to be mom and dad and brother all at the same time *

it is soup again tonight * alex opened the can of cambells * awww stated his brothers * again * we always have soup * why can you make something else *alex responded * that is all we can afford right now * just shut up and eat it * the teenager came out of him * he quickly shifted back into a parental role * did you get your homework done * hurry up and finish so you can get ready for bed * i will read you a story before you go to sleep *

alex never questioned why he had to take on the parental role for his two younger sibilings * he never hesitated to ensure that they were together and that they were safe * it came second nature to him * like it had always been his responsibility * it had always been his mission in life * yes * there were times he hungered and longed for a better life for he and his brothers * but never a life seperated and institutionalized *

one thought that ran through alexs mind was the thought of one day giving up the parental role and allowing a parent to take he and his brothers in * he knew for sure he would never accept being split up * but one thing he questioned was what would it be like to give up the authority to another * to be a real teenager * to see his brothers loved * hugged * corrected * fed * bathed * tucked in at night * and read to by someone else * how would he respond to the same show of love and support * what if he allowed someone to come into his life only to be let down and abandoned once again * could he take such a chance with his heart * could he allow someone to do that to his brothers *

living with his heart opened but his hands fisted alex endured another day anticipating what was to come *