No Tears For Me

i didn't think it would be this easy* me leaving and everything* of course i did not think it would be this hard either* mixed emotions* joyfully waiting* anxiously anticipating* sacred out of my wits* yet at the same time overwhelmed with excitement

as i pack up my things with exuberance and quickness* ready for the road ahead* something tugs at my heart like a boat ready to set sail yet still tied to the dock* there is a simple little reminder of you* i pick it up* i read it* i hold it close* i remember* oh the smiles* the tears* the laughter* the battles* so many emotions* so many things to recall* so little time before it is a thought in the past* a faded memory of who i once was

it should be easier than this* after all i have left others before* here one day gone the next* but this time is unique* this time is now*

i want no tears for me* no heart ache* no grief* not even a good bye* just a simple "until again" will do to get each of us through* this shall be the marker of a journey that never ends* but one that shall begin* again*again* and again* it is not a salutation but an invitation that keeps on giving of itself to friends and family who never forget and never close the door on wonderful relationships*

with that i make the last words of this post...

"until again"

Reflection

staring in the clear blue water i see myself* like looking in the mirror it shows every aspect of who i am* only reversed* at this point it doesn't matter what anyone else sees or interprets in the reflection* all that matters is what i see and how i view myself* that is hard for me because i can be my greatest critic* somewhere deep down inside i want to see greatness* purity* uniqueness* joy* a whole person* with everything all together* but something on the surface notices the negative things about myself* that i do not like*

i see all the blemishes* the paleness* the scars and wrinkles*

i am sucked into the image staring lost in a world of thought and wonder* i wonder what it would be like if the blemishes scars paleness and wrinkles were not there* it is at that point that a leaf falls into the water and the image is disturbed* i return from the world of wonder and again see deep inside*

i gain a sense of self worth just for a moment and i appreciate me* all that i am* all that i value* and all is well again* i stare as the ripples of the water move over my reflection and know all is going to be ok*

i learn something in that time of reflection* it is easy to doubt myself when i am distracted by all that is wrong and miss the valuable aspects of a life of purpose*

*walk away*